We’ve all been in the position where we have to have a tough conversation at work, many avoid and hope the situation will resolve itself, whilst others resort to anger which they may not be proud of may not be representative of them but down to not having been taught the tools for how to hold a conversation well.
This comes down to the stories we tell our selves about the particular situation which changes from person to person as we are all unique. Without all of the information we are unable to make an informed decision, it is therefore imperative to approach these conversations with an open mind and goal of trying to understand the other parties’ position before assuming we know all of the facts.
Here are a few tips on how to handle tough conversations and open a path for dialogue that matters:
Analyze the situation:
Write down the facts that you are aware of, what has instigated the need for this conversation Then internalize and look at yourself, what could you have done differently, what were your intentions? It is human nature to point blame but once we start looking at ourselves and our own actions we begin to realize everyone has a part to play in the ultimate result. Reflection is key for ensuring you enter the conversation with the right mindset.
Ensure you are fully prepared: Think about “How can I make things better, what can I do differently next time? Is there a better way to start the conversation? How can I create a safe environment for the other person to open up? How will I handle thoughts or emotions that aren’t helpful in finding a resolution?” Once you have thought about the responses to these questions, role-play the conversation. Think about the conversation that needs to happen and the resolution you are looking for on both sides.
Lastly, practice: We’ve all heard that practice makes perfect and this is just as relevant when replaying conversations and looking at all possible outcomes, this will give you the confidence in your responses and yourself. We should spend more time practicing those important conversations we have in with a focus on the resolution. Another great idea is to find a coach that you can practice the conversation with We don’t often practice some of the important conversations in our life, but we should, think about the future and always have the end goal in mind. Explain the situation and ask them to think of different outcomes and practice, practice practice.
Finally, imagine that the conversation takes an unexpected turn, one you didn’t prepare for, what will you do? Thinking ahead will allow you to control your emotions and think rationally rather than doing something you may later regret. With practice, it will get easier and you will find yourself enjoying the outcome of addressing issues whilst still fresh rather than allowing small things to build up to later become much bigger problems.
